Lola Omotayo-Okoye while speaking at the recently held
Kinabuti Dare2Dream project, encouraged young ladies by sharing a personal
experience that had the audience spellbound.
According to her, she was molested when she was in high
school – by a priest – and for the longest time she blamed herself and kept
quiet about it because she did not think anybody will believe her. She couldn't
even go to her family to talk about it.She also shares how she was physically abused by an
ex-boyfriend in University. But she says she personally decided not to let her
past experiences determine her destiny.We transcribed her story below:“You shouldn't let your past determine what
your destiny will be, we all have our past whether good or bad or makes us
unhappy, we all had a life that we lived that we are not happy about, you shouldn't let it bother you from succeeding.
When I was a young girl in my early teens in high school, i
was molested by a catholic priest, i blamed myself, i didn't tell anyone because
i was ashamed, couldn't tell anyone cos everyone would blame me, so i
carried on the guilt and bitterness with me for years. I was filled with hate
and i became a angry person, i was rebellious, i didn't want to listen to
anybody…and because i wanted to expel from school to avoid seeing this person,
i would do so many terrible things, everything around me was just so negative,
i felt i wasn't good enough….
Anyway i moved on to the university, met the love of my life
and i’m like, okay this guy is cool, he loves me…and then he started to abuse
me….i was beaten black and blue all the time, in front of friends, in public
and at a point i felt, you know what I am not worthy enough, there is
nothing about me that is nice, nobody loves me but i hid this from my family….i
felt like a loser..So it was hard for me to focus...So one day i woke up and
said i am going to change my story and i dumped that person, focus on my
education and decided to be serious and be something….i decided to get a job
and go to school full time in America… I worked hard…my parents were sending me
money cos I didn’t tell them i was working but i was working because i wanted
to be independent…I didn't want to depend on any man or on my parents even
though they would have done anything for me…so i did all sorts of job, i was a
make up artiste, i worked in a cafe, school library, i did so many things
and i didn't realise that these jobs were building me up as a person, building
my resume, my confidence….people began to like me because i was adding value to
their lives….at work i was excellent and so was i in school and that built me
as a strong woman…and at some point, i sought counseling to get over my
molestation issues where i was made to see reasons why i wasn’t at fault cos i
was a child then…today I am accomplished.
You can be whatever woman you want to be but you have to
believe in yourself, if they reject you today, it doesn’t mean you should let
your dreams die, you have something unique about you.Look at my husband, when i met him peeps were like what are you doing with him,
he has nothing but i stood my ground and choose to stick with him cos he had a
dream. He and his twin brother did not let their dream die, they worked
hard..look at them today! I stuck by him cos he had focus and drive and today i
am happy, i have a good life, we are happy and we have got a beautiful family.
No one can make you a loser.”
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