People won't let Wizkid hear word with this his 'In My Bed'
song...lol. Singer turned writer Etcetera also thrashes it. Read below...
Six weeks ago, I was in Benin City to support a friend who
was getting married that weekend. We drove down to Ugbowo campus of UNIBEN,
laughing along the way at bini guys and the way they pronounce certain words.
We got stuck in an unusual traffic jam and my friend who was driving, took the
opportunity to reply his pings, pausing only to turn up the radio when Wizkid’s
“In My Bed” came on. A few seconds later, he increased the volume even more. I
accepted that since I was in his car, I had to endure his choice of songs. So I
listened, trying to figure out why he was interested in that particular
song.
Though the melody has this jingle-catchy
feel, everything else about the song is horrible. The mix brought to mind those
days when Nigerian studio engineers were still learning how to mix. The overall
instrumentation is noisy with the kick pitched high, like a headache. Played on
F-sharp minor, which is a predominantly high key for most people, but the
struggling syncopation over a lazy bass line weighs the whole song relentlessly
down. My friends know that I have a crazy physical reaction to songs, mostly
when I love it. In this instance, I was gasping for breath by the end, as if
the song was trying to strangle me. I thanked God I was still alive when it finally
ended. But as the traffic lingered my friend put down his phone, this time to
surf through radio stations. Again, he landed on “In My Bed.” That was when I
really got scared, thinking I was going to pass out.
This year, we have had a mix of both good and bad songs.
Wizkid’s “In my bed” is one of those ear worms you don’t want to get into your
brain space for three minutes and 46 seconds. Those who will say “WTF” is
Etcetera saying? I want you to note that I have a zero interest in persuading
you to agree with me. If you enjoy “In My Bed,” I won’t dream of changing your
mind. I heard it again last weekend at my manager’s party, and for a second, I
thought it was some kind of pain killer advert, because the radio station where
I have my show, currently runs an ad that sounds like a more palatable version
of it. My Christmas day was almost ruined when a caller on my show requested
“In My Bed” for his girlfriend. Because Christmas only comes once in a year, I
decided to grant her wish, but as soon as I clicked play, I had the sort of
physical reaction associated with someone suddenly coming in contact with bees.
And before my mind could process what was happening, I hammered the stop button
quickly, arrgh! If you are one of those who regard this song as a standard club
track with all the necessary “thumps and bumps” and you are angry at my
loathing of it, it doesn’t bother me at all. I have fantasised for weeks about
punching this song in the eye, but unfortunately, the song doesn’t have a head,
talkless of eyes.
How can one song cram in so many failed decisions per
minute? One minute you are trying to woo a girl into your bed, the next, you
are saying Tinubu eleniyan, Fashola eleniyan. What has Tinubu
eleniyan got to do with getting her in your bed? Are you pimping her to
Tinubu or to the other names you mentioned in the song? There’s nothing wrong
with praise singing if you do it right. “In My Bed” sounds like a guy trying so
hard to get it right and therefore getting it all wrong. You packed in the same
overused lines “Anywhere I go all my people show me love / And people trying to
bad mouth me. Don’t you think by now, we’ve heard enough of your sniffy little
screech of being chased by enemies? It is boring already. Even a connoisseur of
pop trash won’t find anything to like about a song like this. “In My Bed” is
one song you don’t need to know the lyrics, you may want to shield your friends
and loved ones from its strange concoction. It is indeed the worse song of this
or any other year. Oh sorry, this year is not over yet, so it’s theoretically
possible a worse contender could emerge, but I doubt it. Let’s put it this way,
if placed in comparison with any of Artquake’s songs, it would still be a
distant second. I can’t remember the last time there was a hit song this whack.
No comments:
Post a Comment