CreditCards.com surveyed 843 adults who are in
relationships about how they manage money with their partners. The results were
quite interesting: six percent of the participants have a secret bank account
or credit card their partner does not know about. In comparison to the entire
American population, NBC reports 7.2 million American commit this type of
financial infidelity.
Although the terminology sounds over the top, Jezebel notes when one partner hides their extra
financial assessments it makes them appear shady. The survey also concluded
that one in five persons spent $500 or more on purchases their partners did not
know about. Although an image of a woman sneaking into her house with bags of
shoes or clothes may emerge in your mind, it is actually men who spend twice as
much and fail to inform their partners of their purchases.
Paula Levy, a marriage and family therapist who is also a
public accountant says that financial infidelity is common in most relationships.
The reason this occurs is because both partners want to avoid conflict in their
relationship and get the material things they desire. Levy also notes, although
the phrase “financial infidelity” is intense, partners do not need to share
every detail of their financial spending, which helps them feel independent
from their partner.
The survey also noted two-thirds of married couples maintain
joint accounts whereas others maintain the separate accounts they had prior to
marriage. Whatever the financial setup, Levy does claim if a person lies to
their partner about their financial habits, there will be a lack of trust in
the relationship. The survey went onto highlight the most interesting financial
claims made by couples in the survey:
“Younger people are more likely than older people to say
they’ve had hidden accounts or large, secret purchases. A full one-quarter (25
percent) of respondents aged 18-29 say they have made purchases of $500 or more
without telling their partners, compared with just 15 percent of those aged 65
and up. Seven percent of those aged 18-49 said they had secret accounts,
compared with 4 percent aged 65-plus.
Is big spending acceptable? Many survey participants say
they’re tolerant of their partner spending money without telling them.
Thirty-one percent of men and 18 percent of women say they would have no
problem with their partner spending $500 or more without letting them know.
At the other end of the spectrum, 31 percent of respondents
said they think their partners should be able to spend only $100 or less
without telling them.”
In order to avoid distrusting your partner’s financial
spending habits, lawyer Dane Scalise and his wife created a list to avoid the
drama:
1. Consider financial infidelity as serious as any other
type, as data show the consequences can be equally grave.
2. Be aware of and honest about your financial health. Address problems early
and seek help so they do not escalate.
3. Regularly discuss the household finances. Make financial decisions as a team
and agree on an amount that each can spend “no questions asked” (as long as it
fits into the monthly spending plan).
4. Create checks and balances by taking joint responsibility or taking turns
paying the household bills.
5. Agree that all account access will be shared, even if the account is
individual (bank, credit, investment and so on).
Via.madamenoire
So true
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